Updated: Before Beyonce’s Blue Valentine Ruckus, The KONY Explosion, and The Dance Mom Debacle : There was Spoken Word Arm-Chair Charity (Now with Celebrity-Cleavage!)
My Blog Tried To Eat Me.
So I marked it up here and there . I found this little glitterbug of a post cowering in the draft bin, so I marked it up here and there – to make it a tad more in tune with today rather than the day that it was written (one that ironically preceded the KONY explosion). Feeling that the KONY issues were finally ping-ponging back and forth enough, I thought that my little-ish post didn’t have a spot. But it does, because it’s about more than KONY. Lots more. Little twiddly bits, perhaps, but it will tickle your fancy and more.
So here we go:
*(Yes, this is from the deadly point in time that I was convinced that you had to WRITE LONG THINGS to have a blog. Bear With Me, please. I promise to make it well-Worth-Your-While)
I’ve been saving up updates for you for a good reason….I’m recovering from The Bronchitis That’s Raged All Over NYC and LA and Miami and Underneath Toadstools and In-Between-Hidey-Holes-Everywhere-All-Winter-Flu*. *(Guess what! I lived. I know. I know. Better luck next time, you guys).
Perhaps you guessed this. In those exact words. Perhaps not. I don’t know because I’m recuperating in a hidey-hole, myself until I am a healthier camper. I’m not one of Those People that lends you all kinds of fun germs on the plane, train and automobile. (Yes, we exist.) This is why you’ve probably not seen me in the flesh for a little while. Lest you thrash with worry, Behold: Here I am at Dr. Dali’s*. He’s scribbling out a Cough Syrup prescription. From all that I’ve heard about the stuff, I’m thrilled.
*(Picture disappeared with entire blog, I shall find you a new one)
Now, I’ve finally come up with a new post for you. (I notice several of you scattering in abject fear for some unknown reason) Actually, This is about fun things (No, not cough syrup. BESIDES cough syrup.) Well, it’s about Fun Things that turn into Very Important Things. (Which are sort of the best things.)
By the way, in my lack-of-oxygen-induced-Netherworld-Haze (can’t breathe, was on strike from everything medicinal – I’m one of those Naturists…Wait, no, not the “nekkid” people – More of Naturalist. Or a Naturopath. Or none of those things; I just don’t like giving it up to The TheraFlu. But One-and-A-Half-Months-Into this mother, yes: I will give in. Now, kindly consider yourself warned).
Oh, If you enjoy this…Go ahead and hit me up on Tumblr and Twitter, to lessen the cabin fever, please. On Tumblr, I downloaded a brand new, completely ridiculous theme. It’s at http://BunnyCord.Tumblr.Com…I think. It’s fairly glorious. Someone made a Fairytale Background.
*Note : It was a total disaster, I have no idea what I was thinking, it’s different, now. And how.
I know, I know – I just realized that it may not actually be for grown-ups. However, this makes it more or less optimal for me right now as:
*(I’m going to make this as poetic as possible):
I plan to drink my Sizzurp, (?)
And Stare at the Turrets of my new Tumblr Castle,
Whilst, “Dance Moms,” on Lifetime,
Shrieks and Pirouettes,
Into the Kleenex-cluttered chaos that is,
My Malady Room.
I will sleep,
For The First Time,
(pelvic thrust to No One In Particular)
Since This Utterly Charming Cough,
That rivals the effervescent bark,
Of a strangling Sea-Lion-
(Sound the dramatic bark-cough)
Has made a wretched pilgrimage,
To My Bedside
(Wait for It):
Neither Dunny nor Munny,
And obviously not Mummy,
Can protect the Bunny.
My lungs shall remain inside of the fit-riddled Bunny tonight.
No more of their snarky disco-dancing across the room
As I disco-nap my way through the endless, ink-filled night
….With no forseeable disco
(Don’t weep…I realize how utterly moving that was…in fact, I see how far you’ve moved underneath the furniture).
No, let us celebrate, because we’re about to do something really, really good.
Now…Have you been to http://Sevenly.org ? They “sell” (pass your dimes along to someplace truly better and give you something in the meantime – kind of like Money Heaven) fantastic-fitting shirts for men, women and children for well, men, women and children who will benefit from a different cause every week…If you buy something on The Internet (I know you do it! I know you do it!! Internet Blackouts can only last so long!!!), you will be shocked, delighted and possibly stupefied when you find a cause that genuinely strikes a chord in you in a way that you thought wasn’t even possible. More on such magic after The Despicable Me / You Picture.
One of my favorite things, particularly at a time when I can’t do much else, is to indulge in what I call…”Charity Therapy.” or better yet, “Chairity.” (Chirp it, by all means. Chirp, Chirp like you mean it). Chairity can be done from (a waiting room) chair…or anywhere at all and a nifty place to start is at Sevenly.Org. The site is a veritable variety-pack of charities – curated life-changers and sometimes life-savers to the recipients of your attention and/or “modest” donations (these donations are so modest that the word, cleavage -*Hello, Google, I said cleavage…wait, no, I said, Celebrity Cleavage! Read me!*- makes them gasp and drop) as possible.
Moral superiority aside, the innnnteresting part for you is that you’ll WEAR the shirt for a change (pun intended) outside of the house and not just on laundry day (i.e. yodeling otherwise naked in the basement. i.e. NOT ME). You’ll realize that you’ve done a little something to help every time you look at it…(which, in case you’re wondering…you will) and you help the cause(s) of your CHOICE all over again, every time that you wear it. (Again, there’s more than one size fits all, there’s actually choice in which charities to help, too).
People will ask you about your wonderful shirt.
You will tell them.
And they will tell someone else.
And you won’t just be JackAss-in-a-T-Shirt-Yodeling-in-their-Basement-on-Laundry-Day.
You will be a person who helps change the world.
The featured charities are a little off-beat. The causes, themselves: War-Torn Africa, Sex-Slavery, and Poverty are well-known, yet the in-roads to helping out will be new to many.
MY FAVORITE CAUSE THUS-FAR:
One of these Sevenly.Org charities that is sure to warble that yodeler in you (NOT in ME…why do you still think that I’m The Basement-Yodeler?):
“Restore war-abducted children,” (i.e. GET THE KIDS SOMEPLACE SAFE) by sending mentally and physically tortured young people forced to fight against their wills and terrified into thinking that they cannot come home, messages FROM home via giant FM speakers in a partnership with, “AMPLIFY PEACE” and “The Voice Project,”
. If this project sounds at all odd to you, watch the video at the end of this blog, enjoy the gorgeous Folk song that accompanies it, and in under a minute, understand a lot more about how to mend their world and ours. By enabling their own families and ex-abductees to sing to them in Acholi, messages of hope, healing, forgiveness, strength and freedom are delivered over the radio – which is, many times the ONLY way that these child-warriors can be reached. The idea that they CAN “come home,” without being re-imprisoned or killed is often a revelation that breaks the cycle of brainwashing and terror that has resulted in war for 25 years.
You can donate to this cause directly, or via Sevenly – Either way, you can get a t-shirt for that famous, modest donation. The Voice Project is an amazing site, in itself*,
BUT if you’d like to broadcast this message and have something besides the feel-good-bumps-all-over, scoring a $7 to $22 t-shirt or two via Sevenly.Org is one of the best ways.
Sevenly’s logo is,simply “One Tee. One Week. One Cause.” Even the packaging is cooler than all-get-out, as the pouch that your shirt arrives in proclaims in inspiring, grass-green font :
“Look At You, Changing the World and Stuff”
They should really make that into a t-shirt, as the message says it all.
Please be sure to read the footnote for info on Edward Sharpe and The Magnetic Zeros’ Alex and Chris’ song, “Home,” with “The Gulu Widows.”
Love and Best, You LoveBugs, And Happy-2012,
*Edward Sharpe and The Magnetic Zeros’ Alex and Chris were some of the first celebrities that this story was told – The “Up From Below” Documentary release party and money raised were combined to benefit Ugandan Women. (VoiceProject.Org) Chris and Alex did a remix of, “Home,” with The Gulu Choir / The Gulu Widows’ voices. It is available via The Hope Album on Itunes.
** To be fair, if you came here for celebrity-cleavage, I have to give it to you:
It’s after the jump: